Are You Worthless?

Well of course not. But I bet you feel that way sometimes. And what about your family and friends or co-workers? How much do they think you’re worth?

People with ADHD almost always have low self esteem. When you have a “deficit” and a “disorder” then it’s assumed that you are damaged somehow and therefore not worth as much as others.

The truth is that we are different rather than disordered; we have differences instead of deficits. And I don’t mean different as a euphemism for the truth.

We are different than people who do not have ADHD just as people who do not have athletic ability are different from those who do.

We are all good at some things and not so good at others.

When my children were young, we wrote letters to famous people like athletes and actors and politicians. In our letter we asked: “We can tell what you’re good at; tell us something you’re not so good at doing.”

It was such a treat to get the mail each day! (Yes, it was that long ago. We used our computer for word processing only.)

A children’s book author wrote to say that he could never ride in the backwards facing seat of his family’s station wagon when he was a kid because he would get sick.

A famous actress and comedienne sent us a book about learning disabilities and made a note on the page that highlighted hers.

These people figured out what they were good at and concentrated on that instead of focusing on their weaknesses. Does anyone know if Sandra Bullock is a neat and organized person or if Keith Urban has amazing powers of concentration? Does anyone care?

Which side are you showing to yourself, your family and friends?

Do they see you for your tendency to always be late or your ability to make people laugh? Do they know you as the one who’s always late or the one who is always ready to help?

It’s OK for people to see your faults; we all have them. Just make sure they see what makes you shine too.

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About Brenda Nicholson

I am an ADHD Expert, Coach, and Consultant. I want you to learn how to celebrate your life with ADHD too.

Comments

  1. I am thrilled to find a blog that seeks to bring a sense of normalcy to adults suffering from this diagnosis. Though I feel I displayed all the symptoms as a child, my father didn’t “believe” in ADD, so I wasn’t diagnosed with ADD until I decided to take the initiative as a college freshman, and was told that if I didn’t want meds then I’d just have to deal with it. Lack of support from family and doctors left me with a very low self esteem. I dropped out of college and fell into a deeper depression than the one I was already in!

    I never realized how many areas of my life ADD affected; from my ability to pay bills on time to keeping the house organized, staying focused long enough to comment on a blog (haha. Its been 15 minutes since I started typing!) I just can’t seem to get it right! But I’m determined, now. I’m pregnant with my fourth child, and I’ve started to see reflections of my less-than-desirable traits in my second son, and he’s only two! I want to end this right here, right now. I know that I will always have ADD, but I also know that with determination and willpower that I can get to a place where it doesn’t control me. Hopefully, I can prevent my children, should they end up with the diagnosis as well, to ever let it bring them to as low a place as it did me. Thank you for providing a place of support for others who deal with this; for many of us, sites like this are the only support we’ve ever received!

  2. Thank you for your comments!

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