Control

Are you a control freak? Do you feel that you are in control of your life most of the time? Does it make you crazy when you lose control or people throw a wrench into your plans? Have there been times when you thought you were in control, only to discover you weren’t?

In my senior year of college, I had two children at home: my son (whom I gave birth to between junior and senior year) and my daughter, the oldest at two. I was taking my last two classes, managing a home full time, and sending out resumes and going on job interviews in my spare time.

I came home from mid-terms, certain I had aced both exams. The wake-up call came the following week when I found out that I had failed both exams and was in danger of failing both classes. I took a good hard look at my life, realized it was too soon to go back to work full time and promptly dropped out of college.

I eventually went back and finished, but I can’t truthfully tell you which would have been the easier path.

People with Attention Deficit Disorder work really hard at control. Our lives feel out of control so much that we do everything we can to keep them in order.

Reading the next best self-help book, or organizational manual, or devising an intricate, complicated system will surely do the trick. Except it doesn’t.

We like variety and stimulation, and we get bored easily, so we tend to fill our lives with too much. Too many commitments, too many social events and side activities. We’re so busy, busy, busy that we can barely stop to catch our breath.

That, of course, is the key. People see how crazy busy we are, and if they don’t, we tell them. So when you forget to do something, or it’s late, well people can understand. You are so busy, after all. They wonder how you do it.

The truth is, you aren’t doing it at all. You’re paddling like mad, trying to keep your head above water, and not always succeeding.

So, what’s the solution? Well, that could take some time. For now, you may want to start where I did, and take a good look at your life and how you spend your days. Do you like what you see? What could you change?

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About Brenda Nicholson

I am an ADHD Expert, Coach, and Consultant. I want you to learn how to celebrate your life with ADHD too.

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