If you are a regular visitor to ADD Moms, you’ve most likely come to expect an article from me that talks about a particular problem that people with AD/HD might have, along with a solution or two. If you’re a regular visitor, you know that ADD Moms is switching it’s focus to women with Attention Deficit Disorder, and that ADD Student is now addressing the concerns of kids, school, and ADD.
Now that ADD Moms is looking at the problems that women with ADD or AD/HD face, I’ve got plenty to say. I don’t, however, always have a solution. I struggle with my ADD symptoms every day. Keeping my house clean and running smoothly is a struggle at times, and when you add in managing the finances, helping out my elderly dad when he needs it, and running two businesses, it starts to look like a disaster waiting to happen.
I find that I can do a few things well, but add in too many, and something gets forgotten or undone. I feel like a juggler with too many balls in the air. Add in one more, and I start dropping them.
This week, ADD Classes had Sari Solden teaching a class about imperfection. If you are unaware of Sari Solden, you need to know about her. She is a psychologist specializing in women with Attention Deficit Disorder. In fact, she wrote a book by that name that I highly recommend.
Anyway, Sari said that many women with ADD are also perfectionists. Someone told me once that I was a perfectionist and I laughed at them. Had they seen my house? Far from perfect.
That’s the misconception about perfectionism, though; that people who have it have perfect lives. The truth is that we have standards for ourselves that are far too high, and then we beat ourselves up when we can’t meet them.
It plays right into our ADD, because we already know that we rarely meet anyone’s expectations, unless they’re expecting us to forget something. If we set our standards unreasonably high, then it’s no wonder that we fail to meet them. It couldn’t possibly be because we are less than perfect.
According to Sari, we should embrace our imperfection. We are who we are.
I realized after listening to her speak how much my perfectionism has ruled my life. I’m trying to change, to relax, and to be OK with the best that I can do. Care to join me?