Do you have a big social life?
Sometimes our social lives ebb and flow, depending on the season of our life.
For instance, when our children were small, we had quite an active social life. There were family get togethers, time spent with friends, and play dates.
As the kids got older, there were school events and outside activities added to our social calendar.
Now that our kids are grown, any social activities for us involve mostly our friends, since most of our family is out of state.
There may be times in your life when you feel that your social life is running your life. You feel too busy and frazzled. This can be especially true during the holidays.
In addition, those of us with ADHD often have what is called social anxiety; we don’t do well with small talk and people we don’t know. We feel awkward and uncomfortable.
So how do you simplify your social life without stepping on any toes?
Well, truthfully, sometimes you just can’t.
In order to claim time for yourself, feelings may get hurt. Be graceful about explaining your decision and then stick to it. You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness or feelings. And you might just be better off without people like that in your life.
I think that the best way to decide how to limit your social obligations or calendar is to start by deciding what’s important to you as a family.
You may hate going to your husband’s office party, but if his job is important to your family and he is expected to attend, then you should find a way to get through it gracefully.
At the same time, if your cousin’s daughter is having a bridal shower and you’ve never met her, feel free to decline the invitation. Send a gift if you must.
Also take into account how much time you are willing to devote to social events.
Do you expect to spend each weekend with friends having a good time, or would a quiet weekend at home sound more appealing?
Decide how much is too much for you and then choose the events you really want to attend.
Be sure to take a look at your calendar as a whole, too. Look at anywhere from 4 – 6 weeks at a time. Is there too much going on?
What about other obligations and events during that time period?
Most of us still have things like doctor’s appointments and the like; perhaps adding in a social event that day (or week) would be just too much.
In general, don’t try to appease everyone by trying to attend more than one event on a given day or evening. It will feel rushed to you and your hosts.
Finally, you might consider waiting until things are a little less hectic and having your friends over to your house for a simple evening, just to catch up.
Whatever you do, be sure that you are making choices based on what you want, not what’s expected of you.