I know what you’re thinking. “What does she mean when life gets crazy? Mine’s crazy all the time!”.
Allow me to clarify.
There is your “normal” crazy life, and then there is crazy. Like chaos on steroids.
Let’s face it. You may think your life is as full as it can be and you’re doing all you can to keep up, but that’s life. You are keeping up for the most part, even if you feel as though you don’t have a minute to yourself.
There are times, however, when things get really out of control. Usually some sort of change happens that shakes up your life. You have a baby, or get divorced. You move or get a job or lose one. Someone gets sick or someone moves home. Get it?
When the “normal” routines in your life continually get disrupted, something has to change. Inevitably your habits and routines will change somehow. Oh, and you can expect your ADHD symptoms to get worse too. Sorry.
This is your guide to getting through the chaos and back to relatively normal, in whatever form normal is in your house.
When a big change happens, it can affect the whole household. You – as mom in charge – are affected the most and left with the responsibility to carry the family through to the new normal.
Here’s how you do that.
First, begin by accepting that change is part of life and acknowledging what you can and cannot do about it. Some things are within your control and others are not. Recognize.
Next clear your life of as much “extra” stuff as you can. Now is not the time to bake 1,000 cupcakes for the bake sale, even if you already said yes. Take a good look at where your time is going and decide if those activities will help in this situation or not.
Now is the time to concentrate on you and your family. Anyone who doesn’t understand that isn’t worth your time anyway.
FaceBook, chatty phone calls, checking your email – those things may have to go on the back burner for a while.
While you’re eliminating the time suckers in your life (and that might be a good thing whether or not your life is currently in turmoil), think about the things that you don’t take time for that maybe you should.
It may feel like now is not the time, but taking care of yourself first is top of the list. You have to be at your best to help your family make this transition.
Get enough rest. Eat healthy real food. Get outside and take a walk or do some exercise. Practice yoga or meditation. Find something that helps you unwind and relax and make it a part of your day. Herbal tea is good. Wine is not. Not now anyway.
Maybe now would be a good time for a multi-vitamin if you don’t already take one. Good nutrition always helps.
Get your family involved as much as you can. A great upheaval in the family isn’t always a bad thing, but it does mean change and adjustment. See that they take good care of themselves too – or do it for them if they are too young or unable.
Find ways to let them participate in this, partly to take the burden off of you, partly to strengthen family bonds, and partly as a way to help them cope.
Keep your sense of humor and take time for fun now and then. A family movie night, ice cream for dinner, or maybe a friendly game of whatever your family enjoys can lighten things up and make it easier to face the day.
Be sure to keep the lines of communication open between all parties. Partners need to communicate honestly with one another. Kids need to feel as though they are being heard and recognized.
If you sense that something is bothering your child but they can’t seem to express it, give them a big pad of paper and some markers or crayons and some time alone to work through it. Clay or paint are good too. Art therapy is a great way to work through feelings that can’t seem to come out any other way. And it’s not just for kids. Adults can benefit too.
Finally, keep in mind that this too shall pass. One day this will be your new normal and the worst will be behind you. Always believe.
I leave you with one of my favorite sayings from FaceBook. Wish I had the skills to make it look pretty, but here it is just the same:
When it seems like things are falling to pieces, maybe they are really just falling into place.