No, I don’t mean to imply that you’ve got actual other personalities in your head. That would be something altogether different than ADHD.
And I don’t mean that you hear voices, like schizophrenics do.
I guess what I do mean is that your head is always crowded with other people’s opinions and judgements of you.
Does that make sense?
Or is it just me?
Is someone calling a therapist right now? Cause really, I’m OK.
That ADHD Thing
In general, those of us with ADHD have low self esteem.
It isn’t any wonder.
We’re known for not being able to pay attention, losing and forgetting things, having poor social skills, and more.
All of that is bound to attract some attention, some “well meaning” advice, and some criticism, which we hear even if they don’t know we do.
Add in depression and anxiety while you’re at it, and suddenly every great idea you have or thing you want to do causes second guessing. And maybe I better rethink this. Maybe this was a bad idea.
What’s Going on in My Head
For me, those voices go back to childhood. Not all of them, but some. And lots of it was said with love and good intentions, but it doesn’t feel that way.
And 63 years later, I’m still letting them influence me.
- You can’t do that.
- Where do you get these crazy ideas?
- That will never work.
- You’re not as smart as you think you are.
- Why can’t you do better?
- What’s wrong with you?
- You’re not normal.
It’s Time to Stop
It’s time to tell those voices to shut up already.
We’ve heard you – over and over and over again – and you’ve shaped too much of our lives.
I assume that if you’re reading this, you’re an adult.
You’ve got control over your own life, just like I do.
Don’t you think it’s time we took it back?
Start the Revolution
Those voices, those judgements?
Here’s one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, Practical Magic:
Curses only have power if you believe in them, and I don’t.
So let’s stop believing. Because we knew they weren’t true to begin with.
Instead, we can talk back to them. (In your head, please. We don’t want people thinking you’re crazy.)
We can tell them our truth.
Or we can come up with mantras, phrases to repeat to ourselves when the doubts set in.
One of my favorites?
Don’t you know who you are by now?
Is there a divide between the real you, the one you show the world, and the one all those judgements are based on?
I know there is with me. And I’m trying hard to be who I really am.
It’s scary, to be who you really are to the world.
Cause what if they think you’re weird, or crazy, or something?
You know what?
You don’t need the approval of the whole world, cause wow – that’s a lot of people.
You can be who you are, and the people that really love you will still be there. You might even find some new kindred spirits once you decide to dump the judgements and be who you are.
And that would be the best.