Becalmed is not the state of being calm. Becalmed is a sailing term meaning to keep motionless by lack of wind.
Now obviously wind is not usually a factor in our state of being. I am using this term as a metaphor for our tendency to stay motionless.
When you have ADHD, motivation can be a hard thing to come by sometimes. Well, a lot of times. Think about it: how much time do you waste on a daily basis, whether it’s on Pinterest or watching TV or talking on the phone?
I know I am becalmed far more than I should be.
So what’s going on here? You have things to do, you know you have to do them – you haven’t forgotten for once, and yet there you sit. What are you waiting for?
A push from someone else?
It’s a real problem.
Let me tell you something very real and honest. Something I’m not proud of. My husband works midnights, so he usually isn’t up until about 2:00 pm. Of course I’m up earlier, but most mornings I get very little done until he gets up.
My day literally begins at 2:00 pm and that sucks.
But it doesn’t have to; it is that way because I choose it, consciously or not.
So again, what’s going on here?
There are a lot of things that I could be doing. Working on my blog, cleaning the house, gardening, running errands. I rarely do any of them.
You know I’ve said before that procrastination is based on fear. And I know that’s hard to really understand, but it’s true.
And the other half of that is that real motivation comes from within, because you think well of yourself, because your self esteem is high.
That’s really hard for most of us. I think our ADHD certainly plays a part in that, but I think that most women suffer from low self esteem. How could we not, given the unrealistic ideals we are supposed to embody?
So am I saying that I have to boost my self esteem in order to get things done? Well, yeah. But it’s not that simple.
If you have ADHD, you most likely are overwhelmed by certain things. The job looks too big, you don’t know where to begin. The root of that is fear which equals procrastination.
You may also have a cluttered home or mind or purse or desk. Again that’s overwhelming.
So how do we get around this monster? How do we get from being becalmed to smooth sailing with the wind at our backs?
In a few steps. Trust me on this.
First, start telling yourself something positive about yourself every day, preferably in front of the mirror. Do it more than once if you can and always say the same thing.
Second, pick one thing that you want to get done, whether it’s something big or small. Put it on your schedule. Today. Now.
Third, every time you look at that thing or think about it, when you start to feel overwhelmed, stop yourself and say “No big deal. I got this.” You don’t have to believe it, you just have to think it.
Fourth, start on it. If you have to, set a timer for 10 minutes and put that much time into it. Get someone to make you accountable for it. Get someone to help you with it.
If you don’t know where to begin, start with stuff that can be thrown away or that belongs somewhere else. Or start with something that scares you somehow. For instance, I have put off calling the doctor’s office for a week because I have to get blood work done. That task has been on my to do list too many days.
So here’s how I am getting it done for sure. I am calling tomorrow and getting the order. And I’m asking you to make me accountable. Tweet me or Facebook me or email me and check; did I do it? I dare you. And if you want, I can do the same for you. 😉