Longing for Order

Longing for Order-4

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As An ADD Woman, you probably find yourself in the midst of chaos more than you would like.

And you may find yourself longing for order.

I understand. I can relate.

Longing for Order-4


I think that having ADHD means we are always longing for some kind of order in our lives. Either that, or we are imposing strict complicated systems upon ourselves and others in order to maintain order.

Sometimes life circumstances change, bringing chaos with it.

That’s certainly true for me and my family as we have adjusted to our new normal in caring for my dad. All else has fallen by the wayside and we each cope in our own way. (My husband’s way of coping is to take on several remodeling projects at once so that the house is in even more disarray than usual. I should have taken a picture yesterday when the bathroom vanity and sink were still in the living room.)

So whether your own personal chaos is of your own making or simply a fact of life, how do you find the calm, the order?

Let’s start with acceptance, shall we?

If your life is crazy because of choices you have made or things you have chosen to do or not to do, accept that you have created this mess and that you can clean it up. Accept that it is, acknowledge it. Do not judge, merely accept.

And if, like me, things have forced their way to the forefront of your life demanding attention, accept that too. You may not like it. You may whine and moan and groan, but as my husband is fond of saying, it is what it is. Accept it.

You know, it’s like that 12 step program. The first step is to accept that you have a problem. 😉

Next, let’s take a little dose of reality.

You have a problem. You have chaos in your life. Your life is out of control. There is no order to be found anywhere.

That’s the reality.

What is also reality is that it won’t change overnight.

And it might be overwhelming.

But here is where the ray of sunshine begins to shine through.



You can begin to make small changes, and if you target the biggest in terms of stress or aggravation, it can start to make a difference. It can give you a small area of refuge while you deal with your own personal reality.

Let’s say your house – like mine right now – is in complete disorder. You can’t open the cupboard without stuff falling on you or you can’t find what you need when you need it.

Now maybe the cupboard can wait a while. Or at the very least, you grab a box or a bag and toss some of the excess stuff in there to get it out of the way.

But what about finding what you need to find when you need it? That might be more important.

So take a look: what are you always losing? And what are you doing when you lose it?

Are you losing your keys when you come into the house? Unable to find the bills, much less pay them on time?

Typically when we misplace things, it’s because we put them down somewhere, but our minds are not in the present, noting that yes, Andy (my son) you did just put your keys in the fridge. Instead, we are thinking about the near future. (Maybe those leftovers near the keys were the culprit).

Find your main sources of aggravation in losing things and then come up with a solution that works for you. It doesn’t matter if it looks pretty. At this point, it’s all about function. If you have to, grab another box – or a pretty basket if you have one – and throw everything you lose in there.

Every time.

Store it near where you tend to misplace things. The garage door? Your bedroom?

And make sure that you keep that tiny little area clutter free. That way you can begin to find what you need when you need it.

While you’re in this mode of barely surviving, remember to take better care of you. I know that sounds impossible under the circumstances – believe me, I do – but make an effort.

Try and get more sleep.

Take your vitamins and drink more water.

And laugh as much as you can, cause it’s good for you – especially when you’re stressed out and longing for order.

If you liked this post, you might also like 5 Ways to Decompress. And please feel free to Pin it or share it!


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Lacy Estelle

Lacy Estelle is the writer of Lacyestelle.com and the Podcast host for An ADD Woman.

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