There is a lot of socializing going on this time of year. People have holiday parties, cookie exchanges, and may even drop by with a gift.
How good are you at sharing yourself and your home?
Personally I’m a little uncomfortable playing hostess. I don’t seem to have those skills that other women have. You know – you stop by and they invite you into their warm, beautiful home. They offer you something to drink or maybe a little snack. They know just how to make you feel at ease and they never have trouble figuring out what to say.
This Friday, a photographer hired by ADDitude magazine is stopping by my house to take some pictures of me and Caitlin. The picture is for an article I wrote for them for the spring issue.
I’m already obsessing about it.
Does the house look OK? Probably not. I should clean it more and what about all of the Christmas stuff I have out? Is it too much? Too cluttered looking?
And what do I do when she gets here? What should I have on hand to offer her? Will I even remember to do that?
Are you like me – uncomfortable welcoming guests into your home? And how long does it take for someone who just met you to really get to know you?
ADHD can make us uneasy about being around other people, especially those we don’t know well. We know that we have a tendency to either talk too much and interrupt a lot, or go to the other extreme and obsess in our heads so much that we remain silent.
And when we do contribute to a conversation, it’s often with a remark that seems out of context with what’s being said. You know how that goes – someone is talking about how great the food is and you think about how the hostess worked really hard on it last week and then her stove caught on fire and she told you the cutest fireman came to put it out and you say “Did you hear about the cute fireman Sharon met?”. Uh….what?
Sometimes we can get so focused on how to behave in a social situation that it causes actual social anxiety. Then we start avoiding social situations and that’s not good.
You know, the whole key to this big deal about interacting with other people is to just relax and be yourself. That’s really all you can do anyway. You don’t need everyone to like you – just a few special people is enough. At least that’s what I’ll be telling myself on Friday.