The (Non) Social Side of ADHD

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Do you ever feel like you let your friends and family down, even when you don’t mean to? I know I do.

Last night, my Aunt Mae passed away. When my dad called to tell me, I told him I wouldn’t be attending the out of town funeral because my husband is laid off and we can’t afford it.

While that’s true, it’s not the entire truth.

The real truth is that social events – even with family – are really hard for me sometimes. This one would be especially hard for me because I would have to stay with my dad and his “girlfriend”. (Can you call an 87 year old woman a girlfriend? Nothing else seems to fit.)

Anyway, I feel bad that I won’t be there for my cousins who lost their mother, but I just can’t do it.

It’s sometimes hard to be in social situations when you have Attention Deficit Disorder. The nerves begin long before the event as you start working out in your head what you’ll say, and do, and how you’ll act.

That may sound ridiculous to others, but when you consistently miss bits of conversation and the social cues of others, it can be very stressful. Pretty soon, you find that you’re living in your head so much (second guessing and re-thinking everything) that you’ve missed even more of what’s going on all around you.

It’s natural to want to avoid those situations, but at the same time, you can’t lock yourself away from people.

The best plan is to take it slowly. Start small with a trusted group of people and learn to relax a little more. Then gradually you can try bigger groups and people you don’t know.

I’m not saying you’ll ever be completely comfortable socially. After all, I’m not the best example this week. We just all do the best we can.

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Lacy Estelle

Lacy Estelle is the writer of and the Podcast host for An ADD Woman.

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