What Is Your Problem?

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I’m not trying to get in your face – I really want to know.

If you have Attention Deficit Disorder, there must be one symptom above all the others that gives you the most trouble. Do you know what it is? What would it take for that not to be an issue anymore? Do you know?

Tough questions, I know. They are for me, anyway.

I guess my biggest issue is focus, followed by impulsiveness. I’m always looking for something bigger, better, faster, easier – something-er. And if I find something that I think fits the bill, I jump, often without thinking it through.

Here’s an example: last year, I noticed that many of my fellow ADHD coaches had websites that were not doing them justice. The design, the layout, the way they operated it, just wasn’t good business. So what did I do?

I bought a domain name, hired someone to do some design work for me for the new site, tried letting my peers know about it, and then found out no one was interested. Money, time, and energy all wasted, because I wanted the excitement of a new business (lack of focus) and I jumped into it (impulsive) without first checking to see if anyone wanted that kind of information.

OK, so the other part to my question was “What would it take for that not to be an issue anymore?”.

For me, it boils down to structure and a plan. Both will tell me what I need to be doing and when. They will help keep me focused and minimize my chances of wandering off.

What would you like to change, and how are you going to do it?

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Lacy Estelle

Lacy Estelle is the writer of Lacyestelle.com and the Podcast host for An ADD Woman.

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3 Responses

  1. My 8 year old son has ADD. He also has a very quick temper and appears angry more often than not. He acts as though he’s always getting the short end of the stick. He has an older brother with whom is he extremely competitive. He is a very naturally talented athlete and he is also very sweet and affectionate. He feels good about himself when playing sports. I am trying to figure out how to help him not get so angry over all the small stuff. He and his brother are fighting all the time these days (ah, the dog days of summer!) I am also extremely concerned about his self esteem…he show signs of having low self esteem. It’s challenging for us since we do get frustrated with him and neither my husband nor I are super patient…although we are trying. If you have any advice, we would be interested in hearing your thoughts. Ben is a great kid and we really want him to live a happy life. We are struggling in these areas and hoping to give him the tools to let go of some of that anger and feel better about himself.

  2. I suspect that a large part of Ben’s anger is due to frustration. He most likely has a high intelligence level yet it may not be reflected in his schoolwork, grades, and others opinion of him. He knows he is capable of much more than what he accomplishes but doesn’t know how to change that and that of course will affect his self esteem.

    It’s also possible that the anger is what is called Oppositional Defiant Disorder, something that can occur along with ADHD. If that is the case, the anger most likely would have been present from an early age and may even cause consistent behavioral problems. Since you say he is sweet and affectionate, it seems unlikely that he has ODD.

    Can you pinpoint the things that make him angry or frustrate him? Knowing that would be a big step in helping him find solutions.

    If you can respond with more information, I would be happy to offer specific ideas.

  3. Thanks Brenda! Yes, it is definitely frustration. When he was very young 2yrs old on…we used to call him Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde….one minute calm and fine, the next yelling and acting really angry, almost like pent up rage. Ben gets that way when he is losing a game or not performing athletically (he is a natural gifted athlete). He also gets loud and agressive and quick tempered when his brother (who is 3 years older) gets something he doesn’t or when they are fighting over who gets the sport section, etc. His temper is 0 to 100 in one second flat. I’m looking for more ways to help him even out, take things more in stride, and not be so “overly sensitive”…everything is very personal with him. As I’m writing this, it is amazing that I’m talking about an 8 year old. Note: He is on medication which is helping him in the classroom and we see a signifcant difference with it (he’s had some really bad days when he has forgotten it). I’d be very interested to hear your and anyone’s thoughts and strategies…Its’ frustrating to me as well (yep, I’ve got some mild ADD myself!). I spend alot of time taking him aside and talking with him, but he is so impulsive that it appears to go in one ear and out the other. Thanks for your imput and willingess to share!