Yesterday I spent the day with a friend of mine. Actually, her husband and mine are friends; we are still in the process of getting to know one another.
I’ve spent time with this woman before, but usually in a group setting and for a limited time.
I was concerned yesterday that I would lapse into ADD conversation mode.
I don’t know what else to call it, but I bet you’ll know what I’m talking about. Here’s how it goes:
My friend is telling me about this great recipe she has for carrot cake.
When I think about carrot cake, I remember this cute little bakery in another town that has really good carrot cake. I wonder if my friend has been there. Then I remember that there’s a very unique yarn shop next door and that my friend loves to knit.
When she finishes telling me about her carrot cake, I ask – “Have you ever been to the Yarn Basket in Smithville?”
Does that sound familiar? It’s so embarrassing when that happens. Even if you lead them through your thought process to explain how you got from point A to point Q, it still doesn’t help.
First of all, they don’t understand how your mind could wander like that. And second, it’s clear you weren’t really listening to what they were saying.
I think I did OK yesterday. I think it helps if you’re conscious about what you’re saying and they’re saying, without trying too hard. Otherwise you overthink it and lose the conversation entirely.
So relax, and try to stay in the moment as much as you can. And hey, a real friend will accept you just as you are.