Appearance & Self Esteem

appearance, self esteem, ADHD

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Do You Like How You Look?

Does the answer to that question depend on other things? And did you know that it affects your self esteem?

Like how much you weigh, or what you’re wearing, or whether or not you put on makeup today? Do you compare yourself to others and judge accordingly?


I think we all feel better about how we look when we’ve at least paid some attention to ourselves.

appearance, self esteem, ADHD

And yet, there are times when we think we look pretty good – maybe we’ve pulled out all the stops – and then we see someone else and immediately get discouraged.

Isn’t This a Little Superficial?

No, not really.

Those of us with ADHD tend to have low self esteem. There are several reasons for this:

  • We experience more failure than most.
  • The person people perceive is rarely the person we really are.
  • We can be socially awkward.
  • We don’t pay attention all the time, and we miss things. It could be part of a conversation, something in the way we’re dressed, whatever. It makes us stand out in a not so good way and it makes us feel bad when we do notice it.

Low self esteem is a terrible thing. It can keep us from reaching for higher goals, from getting to know people better, from being as happy as we deserve to be.

How Does My Appearance Affect My Self Esteem?

Appearance is just one thing that can affect your self esteem. It’s important because it’s the face you show to the world; who people see before they get to meet you.

When you feel bad about yourself, you project that outwardly – in the way you hold your head, whether or not you look people in the eye, the way you walk and move, the way you dress, and the way you do (or don’t) take care of yourself.

Not too long ago, I posted a picture of myself online “in real life”.

I wasn’t wearing any makeup, hadn’t had a shower, and I was actually wearing a shirt I hate and have since thrown away.

But you know what?

I got a lot of positive feedback from that picture.

That’s not why I did it, and I was surprised by everyone’s reaction, but I think I’ve figured it out.

I got a positive reaction because I’m smiling, and I actually felt pretty good that day. I was feeling good about me and the steps I was taking in my life – the positive steps.

That stuff shows. You know that.

So How Does This Help You?


Maybe your self esteem isn’t where it should be.

Changing your appearance probably won’t change the way you feel about yourself in any huge way (just being honest here), but that doesn’t mean it can’t change your attitude at all.

It can.

Did you know that the first thing most women do when they break up with a guy (no matter who did the breaking up) is change their hair?

It’s true.

So, right now, I want you to resolve to do one nice thing for yourself every day. Something that makes you feel better about you.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • Put a genuine smile on your face and say hello to people.
  • Wear perfume.
  • Get your nails done.
  • Find a pretty scarf, or shirt, or something you feel good in, and wear it more often.
  • Start walking confidently, with your head up.
  • Change your hair. Or maybe just wear it down for once. (Messy bun guilty here.)

Try this for a week and see how you feel. See how others react to you.

Anything that makes you feel better about yourself and ups your self esteem is worth it, right?

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Lacy Estelle

Lacy Estelle is the writer of and the Podcast host for An ADD Woman.

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