Building and maintaining relationships can be difficult when you have ADHD. It’s hard for those who do not have Attention Deficit Disorder to understand why we behave the way we sometimes do.
And while an ADD partner or friend might understand you better, sometimes the combination of both of your symptoms can make the relationship more difficult.
So are you resigned to a life of loneliness?
Of course not!
Nor are you faced with a lifetime of temporary friendships.
Relationships take work. All relationships, ADD or not.
If you’re trying to make things work with someone who doesn’t have ADHD, then first they need a little education. They need to know what ADD is and isn’t and what it means for you. A little at a time, please. Don’t make them feel as though a quiz is coming up.
They also need to be compassionate, understanding and patient. Good qualities for anyone, don’t you think?
And both of you need honesty. The ability to say, “Why did you just do that?” or “That’s really hard for me.” without fearing backlash or judgement.
If you and your friend or partner both have ADHD, you’ve got some things in common but you also each have your own unique set of symptoms and personalities.
Honesty and an easy going attitude may be easier here, but at the same time, when both people have ADHD, you can find yourself in king sized messes without knowing how you got there. (My husband once referred to a certain friend and myself as “lucy and Ethel” because of some of the things we got ourselves into.)
The bottom line is that relationships – ADHD or not – require work and commitment sometimes to keep them going. That’s to be expected. You’re both learning and growing and adjusting to each other as you go.
Just remember one thing: not all relationships are good ones and it’s not always about your Attention Deficit Disorder. If someone is constantly making you feel less of a person, then they don’t have your interests at heart at all. Run the other way.