You Need to Stop Quitting

You Need to Stop Quitting

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Are you a quitter?

Be honest.

Do you often find yourself giving up on things?

Is there a little voice in your head that keeps telling you you can’t?

My mom’s favorite thing? “You can’t do that. Here let me do it.”

She meant well; maybe she was fearful or just impatient. But she sent me a powerful message that she didn’t intend.

I’m not blaming her. I’ve been a grown up for a long time now and it’s up to me to change the things in my head that aren’t true.

You Need to Stop Quitting

Are there messages that you’ve picked up from others about who you are and what you are capable of doing?

I think that most of us with ADHD have experienced so much failure in our lives that we begin to believe things that aren’t true.

“I’ve tried that before and it didn’t work.”

“I’m no good at that. I always just quit after a while.”

“That’s not for me. I don’t have the talent.”

How about this one instead?

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas Edison

So much of ADHD is about negativity:

  • We have a deficit
  • We have a disorder
  • We have a disability

What if we choose to look at the positive things that define us?

  • We are creative
  • We see solutions and connections where others do not
  • We are not afraid to take risks and try new things

What if you stopped hiding and started doing?

What if there’s something you want really badly, but you’re afraid? You’ll fail. You won’t be any good.

What if, instead, you made a decision to keep trying, to stop quitting?

What if you told yourself you could do it?

Make mistakes and learn from them. Try, try, and then try again.

Measure your progress against yourself; no one else.

Think about professional athletes, especially Olympic ones. They measure progress in tenths and hundredths of seconds.

I dare you.

Pick one thing and master it. Keep trying and don’t give up. Be sure it’s something you really want and then go for it!

You can do it.

Lacy Estelle

Lacy Estelle

Lacy Estelle is the writer of and the Podcast host for An ADD Woman.

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2 Responses

  1. Love your insight ,thank you for being there for me when I’m struggling “every second of every day” with myself…. The brain fog, the harassment of my ego , the roller coaster emotions that hang like a cloud over me as a stay at home mom, I forget all the time to just breath when your in the middle of “an ADD moment which seems to be all the time it’s difficult to remember that. And as I lay my head down today and sobbed at my lack of domestic abilities really it’s my lack of time management lol I flopped around with tears shed and let it go let the drama go it was a choice today and a long time coming too , long time training to get to that moment because sobbing was more stress than I could do. So.i learned something along the way on this roller coaster (which I detest ) called ADD sometimes it’s ok to cry it out but ADD isn’t going away !!! I think after many years of struggle I hoped it would get less obvious that reading a couple of blogs would help that taking a million different pills would make it better, that changing my attitude would help , (it has some) that Having a heart attack at the age of 42, and three stents and a year later , that this would make it go away or be better . It isn’t!, it hasn’t,, lol so Now what? No meds for me anymore , no smoking anymore, 100 extra pounds later and I still have no clue what executive function needs the most attention because I see something I think is what needs to be done first only to find out five min later it wasn’t,, internal stress from this illness disorder, caused me to smoke self medicate which caused the Heart attack. I don’t want to live the rest of my life feeling bad about myself for being flakey,socially inept, loud, awkward , forgetful, a giant blob of what? I can laugh and love with all my being , for my kids who are 13,12,8 they see that and right now that’s ok, but more often they have seen me be inconsistent,crazy ,not cook , not finish anything, I am tired, my body is tired, . I vow to keep trying I pray for a better attitude and love and laugh but teach me how to cope, how to deal everyday, I have a girl counting on me to teach her . Two boys with different add’s ,counting on me to parent efficiently what is most helpful ? I feel like I invent the wheel everyday!! It’s getting worse .

  2. Oh my goodness Paula! Let’s just heap it all on at once, shall we?

    I DO get it. ADHD is overwhelming. Parenting is overwhelming.

    Let’s start with some basics.

    feeling bad about myself for being flakey,socially inept, loud, awkward , forgetful, a giant blob of what?

    You are none of those things. You choose to view yourself in such negative terms.

    And I get that. We all feel that way at times.

    But as long as you continue to think so negatively about yourself, you won’t make any progress.

    I discovered something so very powerful a few years ago and tried to tell the world (well, you guys anyway) but it seemed no one would listen. It’s so simple, it just can’t be worth much.

    But it can and it does.

    You mentioned a girl relying on you to teach her.

    How do you want her to grow up?

    Strong and confident, sure of herself and her worth?

    Or weak, poor self esteem, easily manipulated by others (men)?

    You have to model for her the person you want her to be.

    And you start by changing your inner dialog about yourself.

    No meds, no smoking, losing 100 lbs?????

    You’re a rock star lady!

    Keep telling yourself that. Catch yourself in a negative thought and turn it around. Keep doing that over and over.

    Learn to stop, for just a minute or two, before you act on that executive function stuff.

    Take some time and look around your house and your life.

    What needs attention? What needs it now and what can wait? Write it down.

    Now make a list of what’s important to you. Kids first, obviously.

    How can you take that list of things to be done and serve them first?

    Food in the house, clean clothes, getting places on time.

    Go back to the basics.

    And don’t just read this and disappear.

    I want an ongoing dialog here.

    Reply. Let me know how you’re doing, what you’re struggling with. Ask questions, give me specifics. And if for no other reason, do it because together you and I may be helping others in similar situations.

    I’m here.